John Donne and his Love Poetry

THE BROKEN HEART.
by John Donne


He is stark mad, whoever says,
    That he hath been in love an hour,
Yet not that love so soon decays,
    But that it can ten in less space devour ;
Who will believe me, if I swear
That I have had the plague a year?
    Who would not laugh at me, if I should say
    I saw a flash of powder burn a day?

Ah, what a trifle is a heart,
    If once into love's hands it come !
All other griefs allow a part
    To other griefs, and ask themselves but some ;
They come to us, but us love draws ;
He swallows us and never chaws ;
    By him, as by chain'd shot, whole ranks do die ;
    He is the tyrant pike, our hearts the fry.

If 'twere not so, what did become
    Of my heart when I first saw thee?
I brought a heart into the room,
    But from the room I carried none with me.
If it had gone to thee, I know
Mine would have taught thine heart to show
    More pity unto me ; but Love, alas !
    At one first blow did shiver it as glass.

Yet nothing can to nothing fall,
    Nor any place be empty quite ;
Therefore I think my breast hath all
    Those pieces still, though they be not unite ;
And now, as broken glasses show
A hundred lesser faces, so
    My rags of heart can like, wish, and adore,
    But after one such love, can love no more.

A Picture is worth a Thousand Words, And Many Pictures are a Journey

One of the main things that I love to talk about in my blogs are the flaws of humanity. Even though I constantly bash on people for being imperfect, I am mostly bashing on myself. That is why for my walk I made a story of them. Instead of individual pictures saying how I feel, the string of pictures are there to represent my journey thus far in life. Just like Mel for the longest time I felt stagnant in my faith. I felt that my parents faith was not my own. It took a lot of trials for me to even consider making that faith my own. Currently I am working extremely hard to change. Now I am taking my faith seriously, and working to strengthen it.

So here is my journey.

Humans are like this lake. We reflect the world around us. When people look at each other do they see the world? Oh, I recognize that hairstyle, that one actress had it. Those clothes, they were featured in Fashion Design. As Christians we are no exception to this. Many of us reflect the common views of the day. We all have opinions on homosexual marriage, abortion, nation healthcare etc. What we should do however is not just follow and reflect, but lead and be different. In order to change the world you need to purpose new ideas, and convince others to follow you. They need to reflect your ideas and not flawed points of view.

Here is another look. Humans are like this rock. We are the rock, and by the outline it is very obvious we are a rock. However, just like the rock people have changed us. They have colored on us, graffitied on us to the point that the outside of the rock is distorted. You can no longer tell what the original color of the rock is. Humans change when influenced by others, sometimes they change themselves. Many have changed so much that, like the rock, it is impossible to tell what the original color was. Christians are also colored on. What is different for us however is we have a way to clean ourselves. Through God we are able to erase all of the graffiti and recover our original color. Non Christians are only able to put on a fresh new paint, and wait for that too to be defiled.
One last thought on the rock. Like the cheese, the rock stands alone. This is how much of the world is living, thinking that they are alone. This influences thought is what drives people into depression, alcoholism, self harming etc. However as Christians we know that we are not alone.

The rock and the lake are just introductions to my journey, a back story. This was to set the stage to show how I felt, most of my life.

Looking back I was like the rock and the lake. I reflected the world in an attempt to be popular. I changed myself, and let myself be changed in fear of judgement. The pictures are a representation of how I was at that time. The scenery changed, with it completely new experiences and problems arose. But like the pictures there was only one path in my eyes. I was so focused on my path, that I failed to see the innumerable offshoots. I stayed unchanging even as things changed around me, and I hated myself for this.

As we go through life we usually are given the option to choose. We can take (A) the wide paved road or (B) the narrow, unpaved, uphill road. Both go up the same hill, but both lead to different destinations. Because we cannot see the other side of the hill, as humans we tend to take the easier way out. I also guilty of this. Many times with my life, I took the easy way out. I say that I was a Christian, and then live not in the faith. However, over and over we are presented with this same scenario over and over. As Christians we know that the easy way out usually is not God's way. I was confronted with this scene many times. When I finally choose to take the hard way, was the time that I really started to change.

The path was hard and rough. Just like the physical path in the picture, it was not walked by many. Constantly there were branches and thorns reaching out and grabbing at me. They tore my clothes and skin. (Yes on my walk I produced new holes in my sweats and sweatshirt.) For me this narrow path took 6 months, not including a 2 month journey back up when I fell down.

However when I reached the top, it made it worth the struggle. For standing at top was not a gigantic electrical structure, but what I wanted most change. Because of my journey and experiences I am able to look back and see how much I have grown as a person. To sum it up, I now strive to change and make myself an individual. I realize that the sky is the limit to how much I can change, and there is much more that can be done.

So this is my journey, shown to you through a string of pictures and explanation.

Lets change the world

Would you look around at the world today.
People trying to live through sin and lies.
I want to know your life and what you say,
Tell me what do you see through your sad eyes.

I see a world falling apart slowly
People only thinking about themselves
Even the church which claims itself as holy
We too only think about ourselves

I see a world hanging on by a thread.
Losing its view of what is right and wrong.
We live in a routine as if were dead.
Through false beliefs, acting as if we belong

I see an unredeemed world which needs change.
This only can be done through an exchange.

Creon the True Hero of Thebes

I sat before the my loyal subjects of Thebes. Looking down from my pedestal I am able to see deeply into the eyes of my men and women. These eyes were not filled with happiness and joy, but express deep sadness and depression. They all had been mourning the deaths of love ones. Brave souls who had died valiantly defending their country. Too many had died today. Too many sons, husbands, fathers, and nephews; almost everyone was in pain. I know that I would have to stand up and condemn the traitors, or these incredible men's deaths would all be for naught. Standing up I spoke to my people,
"When I see any danger threatening my people, Whatever it may be, I shall declare it. No man who is his country's enemy [s]hall call himself my friend. Our country is life; only when she rids safely, have we any friends at all. Such is my policy for our common weal" (131).

When I said this I saw hope creep back into my people. They now know my true feelings. That their sons, husbands, fathers, and nephews were my friends. Their deaths hurt me just as much as it had hurt them. No! The traitors deserve to rot in the scorching sun. For Polynices came, "intending to burn and destroy his fatherland and the gods of his fatherland" (131). He strived and accomplished to destroy homes, and the lives of the innocent. When I look around I see pain and suffering. These people had no need to involve themselves in my family's dispute, but they willingly volunteered themselves to put down the traitors. Like faithful subjects they are. I say now "there is no more deadly peril than disobedience; states are devoured by it, homes laid in ruins... simple obedience saves the lives of hundreds of honest folk" (144). This traitor does not deserve the honor of being buried. His actions had but one motive, to destroy this beautiful city. Do you think this is what makes a good leader, acting purely on emotions? No, he deserves to rot. The devastation Polynices caused is evident to my subjects.

If I bury him, I will be honoring the man who killed many of my men. If I bury him, the people will lose sight of what is important. If I bury him, I will never forgive myself for letting some edict of the gods get in the way of the happiness and well being of my people! I WILL NOT BURY HIM!!!!!

What is He?

The world is perfect. There is no racism or sexism. Everyone is equal. No one was more ugly or more beautiful then the rest. This was all because of Amendment 514 to the Constitution of the United Government Organization. From January 1st 2250, when 514 was put into effect, everyone was issued a devise. This devise covered their face with a white mask, and put a white robe over their body.

He was walking along the street. Next to him was his best friend, or a stranger, he could not tell anyone apart. From the casual glance of the rooftop observer he was just another white speck, in the white river headed toward the amphitheater. When he arrived in the theater he stood in the far back leaning against the wall. A man, the president or maybe a spokesperson, no one could tell stood on stage shouting through a microphone. The man called for more equality, more similarities, and more promises. The crowd screamed in response. Through the microphones in their masks, the screams came out to be the same pitch, same sound, and same tone.

But He was not screaming. He was not jumping up and down for joy. He just stood silently in the back, shaking his head in disagreement. When the man on stage called for any opponents to step in stage, He stepped one step off the wall, but then stopped. The booing that the opponents received shook him to the core, he was scared to be hated like that. So he took his position back on the wall. Silently opposing, but saying nothing.

After the "show" He left and walked down the alleyway toward the slum. The only thing that the government could not make equal was the class separation. Slowly he moved, deeper and deeper into the slums. He stops at a graffiti filled door, looked around, and knocked once, twice, three times. He paused looked around again then knocked five more times in quick succession. The door opens up seaming like a black portal. Out of the darkness comes loud thumping music. He enters the door, closes it, and takes off his mask. Underneath is a black haired boy, age 17, wearing a black shirt, jeans, and black Vanes. He walks downstairs and is greeted by his best friend. All around are people who had removed their masks. Man if the government saw this they would have executed them all.

He walks around talking to everyone, greeting old friends and new faces. Any who had seen him at the amphitheater would not have recognized him. The one at the theater was timid, quiet, and scared. The one in the club was charismatic, friendly, and welcoming. Then the music dies down and the DJ gets on the mic and says, "We were all at the speech made at the amphitheater today. What do you have to say in this unbiased setting?" This time though with his back straight, He confidently strolled through the front. Stepping onto the stage he grabbed the mic and said, "I think ............" In response he received both boos and praise. When he stepped off the stage he was not scared and shaking, but gave off the feeling of confidence.

Personal Statement Rough Draft

            Ring!! Ring!! Ring!! Call from Mom, Ring!! Ring!! Ring!!! The voice of the monotone, unfeeling phone echoed out of the darkness. I ran through the empty house, and down the hallway to the phone. At the time the hallway seemed to stretch on forever, but I shrugged it off. I answered the phone with my typical, "What's up" I groaned on the inside because what surly followed was a long list of chores. However, what my mom said next would forever be ingrained in my mind.
            That day had been like any other school day. I had gone to school, joked with my friends, and stared at the clock waiting to get home. The weather when I got home turned for worst. It was kind of discomforting. Immediately when I got home I ran through the cold house to start on homework. No one else was home, and I turned off all the lights except my own to save electricity. There I sat alone in a cold empty house. I could hear the rain on the roof, a steady pitter patter, and the occasional groan emitted from a settling house. I could feel the increased humidity sticking to my skin like a wet uncomfortable blanket. Occasionally a whipping wind would rush through, chilling me to the bone and filling the air with the smell of wet grass.
            Then the ringing started happening. That dreaded phone always bringing what I considered the worst news, chores. I could not have been so wrong. On the other side of the phone was of course my moms voice. She sounded shaky almost like she had been crying. The first thing I heard from her mouth, "Matthew you cousin, Brian, has been mugged in the alleys of Las Angles. He is intensive care right now." My vision flashed red for a second, then I lost my vision completely. I could feel my body swaying, and had to steady my self on the counter. I felt like I would lose my lunch.
           Soon afterward I could feel myself grow hateful. In a sense my little world I lived in, had been torn down and left with only a black pillar of hate. I hated the world for doing this, I hated the people who had mugged him, I hated the insurance agency for taking away his insurance, and most importantly I hated my self because in no way could I help him. It took me months of talking to my youth pastor and adults close to me to be able to let go of the hatred. But it was not for about six months when I heard Lecrea speaking about forgiveness was I truly able to let go of my resentment, sadness, and hatred. He had gone through much more things then me, but he spoke on how his life was full of happiness because he learned to forgive.
           Through all this I have grown though. I was able to become more forgiving, because I realized that holding on was tearing me apart. I have become more authentic through this time of trial because am I more confident to express my self. Because I had found myself falling apart, I now am more level header and posses a stronger "foundation." Finally through this all I was able to become a stronger Christian and grow closer to God.

           Just like Matthew West said in his song Forgiveness, "Forgiveness Forgiveness it flies in the face of all your pride. It moves away the mad inside... It's the whisper in your ear saying 'Set it Free.'"

My Affirmation

So this is my favorite affirmation
It was done by my Youth Pastor, Jake Allstaedt

Matthew is:
Loyal
Reliable
Faithful
Authentic
Curious

Matt is the kind of guy that has real integrity. In no small part to his faith in Christ, he has a conscience that keeps him in check. He places healthy boundaries to unhelpful things and is eager to do good- whether it be in service to someone else or for the simple satisfaction of doing the right thing. What you see is what you get- a grounded individual who tells you what he thinks, (to your enjoyment or not!) and commits to his promises. He is reliable and loyal. Tell him to do something and he will do it. He is a lover of God and of people.