Would you look around at the world today.
People trying to live through sin and lies.
I want to know your life and what you say,
Tell me what do you see through your sad eyes.
I see a world falling apart slowly
People only thinking about themselves
Even the church which claims itself as holy
We too only think about ourselves
I see a world hanging on by a thread.
Losing its view of what is right and wrong.
We live in a routine as if were dead.
Through false beliefs, acting as if we belong
I see an unredeemed world which needs change.
This only can be done through an exchange.
I enjoyed your piece quite a bit, Matt! The rhyme scheme is there, and I liked that you were creative with how different words rhymed. It was easy to understand, and I agree with the ideas you presented in it. Good job! :)
ReplyDelete"Through an exchange"-- what do you have in mind Matthew? It's interesting to me that you leave that last bit just a little bit cryptic when the rest of your poem presents the ideas in a more upfront manner. Is that meant to leave us the invitation to finally engage, when the rest of the poem vents about how "we live in a routine as if [we're] dead"? If so, that would be really interesting!
ReplyDeleteI guess the next step, considering this call is, what can YOU do? Knowing that you can only change yourself, and knowing that God often calls us to help in areas where we see brokenness most clearly... Where might He be calling you next? I know that I, along with many others, can often recognize problems, but don't always step up to do something about them. I have to catch myself mid-complaint sometimes and remind myself that He asks for my obedient action, not just my righteous anger. Where is my next step? Where is YOUR next step? Many poets have found, like you did, that a good place to start is artistic expression. :) But for a senior in high-school, considering future career paths, there may very well be another step beyond that. I'm excited to see where this hurt for the world might lead you!
Although the iambic pentameter wasn't always consistent here, and there were some faulty punctuation marks, this is still really interesting. It's important for you guys to consider the state of the world, and how you can help to make it better. I'm glad you spent real time contemplating that in your composition of this poem!
13/15
i enjoyed this a lot. it was very deep, and really true. you should write songs.
ReplyDelete