Ring!! Ring!! Ring!! Call from Mom, Ring!! Ring!! Ring!!! The voice of the monotone, unfeeling phone echoed out of the darkness. I ran through the empty house, and down the hallway to the phone. At the time the hallway seemed to stretch on forever, but I shrugged it off. I answered the phone with my typical, "What's up" I groaned on the inside because what surly followed was a long list of chores. However, what my mom said next would forever be ingrained in my mind.
That day had been like any other school day. I had gone to school, joked with my friends, and stared at the clock waiting to get home. The weather when I got home turned for worst. It was kind of discomforting. Immediately when I got home I ran through the cold house to start on homework. No one else was home, and I turned off all the lights except my own to save electricity. There I sat alone in a cold empty house. I could hear the rain on the roof, a steady pitter patter, and the occasional groan emitted from a settling house. I could feel the increased humidity sticking to my skin like a wet uncomfortable blanket. Occasionally a whipping wind would rush through, chilling me to the bone and filling the air with the smell of wet grass.
Then the ringing started happening. That dreaded phone always bringing what I considered the worst news, chores. I could not have been so wrong. On the other side of the phone was of course my moms voice. She sounded shaky almost like she had been crying. The first thing I heard from her mouth, "Matthew you cousin, Brian, has been mugged in the alleys of Las Angles. He is intensive care right now." My vision flashed red for a second, then I lost my vision completely. I could feel my body swaying, and had to steady my self on the counter. I felt like I would lose my lunch.
Soon afterward I could feel myself grow hateful. In a sense my little world I lived in, had been torn down and left with only a black pillar of hate. I hated the world for doing this, I hated the people who had mugged him, I hated the insurance agency for taking away his insurance, and most importantly I hated my self because in no way could I help him. It took me months of talking to my youth pastor and adults close to me to be able to let go of the hatred. But it was not for about six months when I heard Lecrea speaking about forgiveness was I truly able to let go of my resentment, sadness, and hatred. He had gone through much more things then me, but he spoke on how his life was full of happiness because he learned to forgive.
Through all this I have grown though. I was able to become more forgiving, because I realized that holding on was tearing me apart. I have become more authentic through this time of trial because am I more confident to express my self. Because I had found myself falling apart, I now am more level header and posses a stronger "foundation." Finally through this all I was able to become a stronger Christian and grow closer to God.
Just like Matthew West said in his song Forgiveness, "Forgiveness Forgiveness it flies in the face of all your pride. It moves away the mad inside... It's the whisper in your ear saying 'Set it Free.'"
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